So, today has seen a better day with the view on the old writing. The reason for this is two fold. The first is I decided to :
TAKE THE PRESSURE OFF OF MY SELF - I write because I love to write. I enjoy it, I adore it. But I was sucking all the joy out of it, worrying that I had to make something of it. Now one thing you can be sure of with writing is you cannot guarantee to make something of it. And if you do, it is even less of a guarantee to make you any money. I lost sight of this. And with this stress came the instant drain of creativity and adoration. So, my husband had the foresight to think around this problem. He pointed out, if I trained in something that I also enjoyed and could certainly make a career out of then I might take the pressure off of myself with the writing. Then it would again become that thing I do because I love, not because I needed to 'be' something. If I do make something out of it career wise then that is just a bonus.
I HAVE A WORKABLE PLOT - I quickly ascertained when I started writing my current WIP that the plot was not sustainable. I lost words and time and to be honest I felt a bit defeated. But, after persevering, thinking, thinking and thinking some more I sat down and reworked the plot. I sent it to my tutor, who came back with queries and questions about plausibility and pushed me to think deeper and explain. I did this and she came back with a big fat, yes, this is now a very plausible plot. Start writing!
Now the firing gun has been shot. I can crack on. I have scheduled writing sessions and although they may not be at my optimum creativity slot I need to make them work. I read an article in the week by Carrie Elks (see post here) that made me realise, you can't write if you are not sat down to do so, and although it might not feel like it suits, basically you just have to suck it up and do it and once you crack that pain barrier, the words will come.
Whether they turn into words that please an agent or publisher or reader is a whole other matter, and not one to be worrying about right now, all I need to worry about is writing, getting the drafts down and learning, always learning.